Showing posts with label neurodiversity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label neurodiversity. Show all posts

The Golden Link - Uniting the Spectrum



Is the Neurodiversity Movement a help or a hindrance to Autistics and their families who have high needs and profound disabilities?

According to some people on twitter there is a definite divide.  Apparently an author and some organisations specialising in Autism 'Treatments' are determined to spread the message that "Severe Autism" is a medical illness which needs cured and the Neurodiversity movement is a cult of idealism.


Now they aren't wrong when it comes to a divide sometimes between parents of Autistic kids and the Autistic community.  But in my opinion this is more of a communication issue, which I think both sides need to work on.

The battle between parents of Autistic children and Autistics is often present on social media.  Autistic adults have often been raised in an ableist households where natural coping methods such as stimming are discouraged by parents who don't understand. These autistic adults are now determined that the knowledge is there to be shared -- to other Autistics, that this self expression is ok, and to parents, not to repress it.

Parents however, are often worried about their kids, comparing them to others, looking for answers.  Life can be hard, more complicated and no one can deny that.  Therapies, services, schooling often very hard to source and a constant battle to get right.  This must be harder at times when your child has more complex and profound needs. The medical model of autism is often presented by professionals who sometimes make it worse by suggesting a bleak outlook.

Therapists may have 'given up' or be targeted more towards medical help than therapy.  Sometimes even medical help is refused due to every health issue being branded as being part of "Autism".  This scary presumption leads parents even more into the medical model of autism, rather than different neurology.

Autistics online often get misinterpreted as being "high functioning" by parents as they are able to hold a discussion.  However the reader may not know that the Autistic may have had sensory overload that day, not left the house for 3 days, needs AAC to communicate, is incontinent,  can't tie their shoelaces, may need 24 hour care. However it's not the Autistic person's obligation to disclose any of that private information.

This mutual misunderstanding can be problematic.

So according to one side Autism is a disease that needs a cure and to the other  its a way of being. The skeptics of The Neurodiversity Movement often claim that proud Autistics are problematic as they are getting in the way of finding a cure.

For a proud Autistic the mention of cure talk is insulting and ableist.  Why wouldn't it be?  Everyone has the right to be proud of their identity.  Critics argue that the health difficulties of Autism are being ignored here.  But Autism doesn't always come with health issues, health issues can vary and because not every autistic person has these health issues, they are generally seen as being 'co morbid'.  The medical profession acknowledges this too, and every respectful doctor working on Autistic issues, call them "co morbid conditions".

The concern about charities working on Autism treatments isn't about the research into co morbid conditions, but the 'curitive narritive' that these organisations and charities advertise.  They  give parents false hope and push them away from acceptance and seeking useful, practical advice.


The fact is, many Autistic people simply aren't looking for a cure.  This is proven in a recent survey
Autistic Not Weird Survey /.


Note -  this was the results from non verbal Autistics, and ones with a learning difficulty (although I do accept a degree of cognitive ability would need to be present with the second question)

So is supporting The Neurodiversity Movement about ignoring medical issues that might also be present with Autism?

Of course not.  Autistic Advocates often talk about the frustrations of co morbid conditions and ask for research into healing or curing them.  Agony Autie is one advocate who often talks of her desire to be free from Ehlers Danlos syndrome.  It is a common topic in many Autistic groups.

Tania Melnyczuk is part of a team in South Africa working with medical experts on helping Autistics with problematic co morbids and writes about it in this blog imagine-money-wasted-in-autism-research


Which leads me on to the next question.  Is the Neurodiversity movement supportive towards those who are non verbal?

According to this person it isn't


So lets disprove them:

Firstly here is a host of blogs written by non verbal and "severely Autistic" advocates or their families -

Frank mentions a lot of names here -

Frank Ludwig - Low Functioning Autism

Not too trapped in my head anymore

How this non verbal man found his voice

A diary of a mom

So many who have found communication through alternative means.

Also, Check out #Istandwithnonspeakers on twitter.  A whole host of Autistic Advocates determined to help with the rights of other Autistics.


If you have been told your child has an intellectual disability, its very important to be open minded about their abilities.  They may still enjoy differing activities from the norm as an adult, and not achieve high educationally, but there are many other ways to see intelligence.

Mental aged theory is wrong and offensive.  An adult is never like a 5 year old child.  Read this blog and watch this fantastic video.  Don't dismiss their voices, due to perceived assumptions

mental age theory hurts people with intellectual disabilities/

Ivanova - mental aged theory


In some situations though we must accept that direct advocacy work must be done by the parent or carer on the individual's behalf.  This is often the type of parent who would be seeking a cure, and who is vulnerable to anti-neurodiversity activists.

 They attract a profitable business for anti vaccine propaganda, fooling parents with their false cures, ABA therapists, as the service user cannot express dislike, but also well meaning science researchers too, who focus on more on the profoundly disabled  as they fail to see a connection with other Autistic people. There is no denying life may present further challenges, however to cure the Autism would not take away the cognitive delay.


Lets look at some Autistic led organisations.   ASAN  works tirelessly for the rights of people with all disabilities.  If you look at the link here, ASAN Annual report they are fighting here for parents with learning difficulties to have the right to be a parent themselves, with support and also fighting for the right for non verbal autistics to have access to AAC.  This is an Autistic led organisation fighting for the rights and justice for all.  They are also adamantly supportive of the Neurodiversity movement.




Here is another UK based organisation giving guidelines about helping Autistics in all care settings. This is a fantastic guide.

An Independant Guide to Quality Care for Autistic People /





This was another venture run by an Autistic run charity trying to speak up for the victims of abuse in this care home, for residents with profound disabilities.   These are all organisations dedicated to the welfare of ALL Autistic people.


Neurodiversity activists are also trying to get this issues political by starting this cause LPANDmanifesto/.  Again criticised by anti neurodiversity campaigners.  Janine Booth writes a blog here about how incorrect their criticism is -
positive policies not pathologising patronisation.

The Neurodiversity Movement supports the welfare, protection and rights of ALL Autistic people.

Just imagine a world where your child growing up goes in a residential care unit, or requires support in the community which may be needed, now imagine autistic adults working with your adult child.  That unique ability to figure out why a sensory trigger might be near, when your loved one needs peace and quiet, routine, why a food might not be appropriate, how they can possibly avoid a meltdown.  Admittedly, not all Autistic adults will be able to do this, but some will, and they are essential.  Do you think this would have happened if the staff had been autistic? Autism Charity accused of hiding abuse at care home we think not.

Imagine your child's special needs school getting a visit from someone who can spot what could be upsetting or triggering to your children.  Do u think this would have happened if the staff had a proper training?  Autistic Students Abused by Teachers we think not.

Imagine having an autistic mentor helping you at home to figure out behaviour you don't understand.  Not an ABA therapist who doesn't know the Autistic experience.

That is the dream of neurodiversity, not to create a divide, but to create a connection.

Now can I let you into a little secret?  This is what many Autistics do already, helping families, helping schools, helping families, whether online or directly it is happening.  In advocacy issues too like claiming for disability allowance.  Its happening everywhere, most often voluntarily, which to be honest they should be paid for.

The Neurodiversity Movement can't take away the work load or stress which may go with having a family member very high needs.  But they can help in working towards making family life easier by having a good understanding of unknown or challenging behaviour.  They can help with barriers in an educational setting.  They can help with the core understanding of co morbid conditions and researching relief.  They can't take away the reality that your loved one may need a residential placement, or assistance in the community, but they can help ensure that any placement or service is safe and happy.  They will fight for correct, nuturing therapy for your loved one, and seek appropriate communication needs along with speech therapists and OT's.  They can help you fight for your loved ones financial needs, autonomy and human rights.



For loved ones who do understand their diagnosis they can encourage self worth, pride, company, self advocacy, and friendship.

The Neurodiversity community is on your side and don't let any salesmen tell you otherwise.  The Neurodiversity Movement is a threat to neurotypical led businesses who have profitted on Autism for years.  Lets help turn that around .πŸ™‚

It may take your head a while to get around all these concepts, and that is ok.  In the mean time, read these testimonials, and click on the links to connect with Autistic Adults .πŸ™‚


Useful links and testimonials of how Autistics have helped families



How Autistic Adults have helped me with my Family / Work and where to find them πŸ™‚




Autistic Adults are widespread on social media

The best way to find them on twitter,  is through #AskingAutistics

We have many links through facebook

Autistic Allies facebook community

All these facebook pages and groups:

Informative and supportive pages and groups on facebook

And a couple more great links:

The Thinking Person's guide to Autism Resources

The Autistic Advocate - A safe place for parents

Below is a whole list of testimonials from a variety of facebook groups by parents who have benefitted hugely from having Autistic friends and mentors who have helped change their whole perception of Autism and been a huge advantage to their family life.
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I saw your post and wanted to tell you how much agony auties vlogs have helped me as a mom. I have always taken a child led approach to being a mom and me and my son have always had a very close, happy relationship. The problems arose when my son started school and wasn't met with as much understanding of his different needs and was seen as a spoilt child. I couldn't properly put into words to advocate well enough for him and it was so hard seeing him struggle and them fail to get him. Then I found agony autie and while I had been feeling so down and worrying so much about him and how hard his life would be with no one understanding him like I do, she helped me see autism in a whole new light. By lighenting my concerns for his future it helped me get strong enough mentally to better advocate for him. Also her amazingly accurate and simply put easy to follow engaging videos are the perfect things to be sending on to his school. I think videos explaining autism are a fantastic way of getting the word out and helping these kids. They are easy to share and catchy and quick to watch so can be sent on to the most reluctant of educators or family members. His school is finally listening to me and he is getting on fantastically this year and is so much happier. One thing I loved about finding autistic allies was how messed up I thought aba was and was so delighted to see all you guys shared that view so I kind of felt validated in hating it.
There is nowhere else I would turn to now other than autistics for helping me out with any questions regarding his autism.
Thank you all and especially agony autie for helping me see the beauty in autism again. I always saw his special ways as beautiful as a young child but got caught up in the system for a short while and consumed by worry for him and now you guys got me back on track
Xxx
Keep fighting the good fight
Mel
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I am a support staff person. Though I have a sharp instinct (due to life experience) regarding non-verbal communication as well as many other aspects of my work and those I serve, I find it invaluable to have this group to talk to.
I have often asked questions of the group that help me gain a deeper or more well-rounded perspective of the many facets of nuerodiversity. This translates into probiding better service to the people I assist as well as their families. It also helps me to educate member of the NT community in a more accurate and acceptable way.
As I read posts it truly does help me become more sensitive to the needs of others.
In addition, though assumed "NT" I have even more reason than before joining this group, to question if I truly am on the spectrum and have just slid under the radar all these years.....
If you would like anymore detail please ask....
I hope this is helpful
Chris
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I’ve learned everything from autistic adults. From learning what autism really is to understanding I’m autistic to learning new ways of helping my children. - Bob
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Autistic adult support groups gave me a totally different perspective vs relying on the autism parent support group. Parent support groups are pro ABA. Actual Autistic adult groups helped me realize ABA is actually harmful and it's best to let my son grow at his rate.
Yanira
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Agony Autie really helped me through her blog to understand what a meltdown feels like. My son was diagnosed in March he’s 12 . It was my first real insight into how he feels when he has one.  Donna
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I have really valued these social media groups for allowing me opportunities to discuss autism with autistic people of all age ranges, all over the world. These individuals have provided valuable insight into the "autistic experience," which I have found helpful in so many ways. For one, when my son (who is now 5) was diagnosed a year ago, I was fed all this info and given all these bits of advice from neurotypical people who were supposedly experts in autism and who wanted to provide resources that our family could use. I was this close to using the 3-letter acronym we all know and hate to "help" my son, when I had the good fortune to come across autistic people discussing their own personal experiences and anecdotes regarding said acronymic "therapy." I told the people offering the 3-letter acronym "nooooo thank you!" and have been learning and trying to understand--and help--ever since. Many so-called "autism parents" and even medical professionals would consider me "neglectful" because of my refusal to impose this 3-letter acronym onto my son in an effort to make him "indistinguishable from neurotypical peers," but I refuse to cause harm to my children so that other people in society may feel more comfortable in their presence. Without autistic people talking to me and sharing their experiences with me, I may well have ended up going down the proverbial road to hell that is paved with good intentions. Every single day, I am grateful to these people for sharing with me, and I hope that the insight they have provided will make me a better parent and a better person.
Sorry to go on and on. :) I'm...verbose. LOL
Tamara
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I have learned that "bad behavior" always stems from a need that isnt being met.
I have learned that patience and unconditional love are the most valuable resources.
I have learned that EVERY child has feelings and thoughts of their own, even if they can't communicate at all to anyone else. They should never be talked about as if they aren't there just because they can't speak.
I have learned that my child has been an individual since birth. It is not my job to tell him who he should be, it's my job to help him learn to be the best version of himself.
It is not my job to make him fit in and act like everyone else. It is my job to help him learn to be a person he is proud of.
Brandi
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I’ve learned to be an ally who promotes the neurodiversity paradigm and advocate for my neurodivergent children and the adults working so hard to make their world better.
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I’ve been taught to listen to the voices that truly know what it’s like to be autistic. I’ve learned to let my children just be and develop in their own unique ways.
Louise
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Autistic adults have been my #1 source for understanding and parenting my autistic child. They have been so much more helpful than any professional or expert or therapist. I now have a better understanding of my child’s internal experience & how he may experience the world. I really don’t know where we’d be as a family without the knowledge I’ve gained from autistic people. Just thinking about it makes me teary-eyed. I am so grateful.

Sorry it’s short. Writing, or even thinking about having to write something, makes me anxious! If I had time to sit down and think, I could write a freakin novel with details of what autistic adults have helped me with.
Kelly Jo
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I wrote all about it in my blog When you actually know Autistics  Jessica
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“...we have different memories as autistics, we process liberties and invasions and assaults a different way, we often remember deeper, longer, and cannot let go or move on.”

I’m autistic and my whole life I had wondered why I couldn’t process the trauma inflicted on me by others. I thought I was just a broken person. Then my autistic son experienced trauma and I reached out to other autistic adults to understand what could be going through his thoughts. I read this portion of a comment from another autistic adult and I understood. I understood my son and myself.

I had spent a lifetime trying to understand why I needed to relive the trauma in my thoughts and now I was spending sleepless nights trying to understand why my son was doing it. The answer was in the insight of an autistic man traumatized by life events.

This one man helped me to help my son. It forced me to see that this would be a process that could take a lifetime. It will take patience to understand and unravel the behaviors attached to it. It will take time.

I’ve thanked this man many times for his insight but I don’t think he’ll ever truly understand what those words meant to me. They were a door for me, my son and other traumatized autistics to walk through. They were acknowledgment and acceptance.
Suzy
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When our son was going through the diagnosis process Facebook wasn't really a thing for groups like it is today.  But I was familiar with blogs and followed several, through the craft blogs I discovered a parenting blog written by the father of a boy a couple of years ahead of us.  My husband and I read every post he wrote and followed their journey.  As parenting blogs go, it was actually a good one, he took it down when his son reached an age where he felt uncomfortable talking about him online.
One day, someone left a comment about "ANOTHER parenting blog, why don't you listen to the autistic people themselves?"
So I hopped over to their blog and went down the rabbit hole of actually autistic blogs!  Those blogs led to Facebook and the groups I now belong to.
What I've learned is that while local parents can offer valuable information about education, benefits, clubs and activities as well as meet-ups (those meet-ups were amazing, and so supportive) there really is nothing quite like the first-hand experience from the adult autistic community who have that lived experience.
It's important that both groups work together and listen to each other.  A parent advocate can only be stronger if they have the back-up of the autistic community.  We have no way of knowing if we're doing the right thing, having an adult say "I wish my parents had done that" is invaluable and empowering.  It gives me the confidence to say "No, we won't be working on eye contact" or "AAC is the way forward".
This is one of the posts I read that really stands out in my memory and I've referenced it many times since. Meltdowns vs Tantrums
Josy
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How Autistic Adults Helped Me And My Child
Our family was at breaking point. I realised that the things the “experts” were telling me to do were disconnecting me from my child. I had no idea what to do and I felt very alone and afraid for my child.
I met several fantastic Autistic adults online. They guided me, supported me and even answered my questions- which I now know would have been based on an offensive premise; yet I was offered kindness and insight in return.
I began making serious changes in my approach and my parenting style, based upon their guidance. The impact was incredible and I began to feel a reconnection with my child, which is a testament to my child’s beautiful soul and kind nature.
I began focusing on acceptance of who my child is, respecting their way of processing and experiencing the world and advocating for their needs to be met.
I met more Autistic adults and they nurtured me in my new understanding and encouraged me in my parenting.
In them, I found people who genuinely cared about the wellbeing of my child, rather than focusing on me. Everything they said was to benefit my child, which also benefited our family life once I made the necessary changes.
This was now five years ago. The support and guidance I received continues to drive my mindset and my parenting toolkit. My child is happy and enjoying their life, their relationships and their school. My relationship with my child has been repaired and it gives me so much happiness.
I don’t know where we would be without the Autistic adults I met, I don’t dare think about it, and I truly hope they know who they are and how much they helped us.
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